Sicky icky
I'm not sure how I got sick because the people I hung out with weren't sick. They just have cooties and allergies....
But being sick sucks! I was super motivated this week due to my meditation of oneself and being more aware of self-improvement. Although I have not been able to 100% focus on myself in the physical aspects, I have started to read Paulo Coelho's The Alchemist. (I'm trying to improve myself physically, mentally, and spiritually). The past week I have realized that I haven't been using my brain to the fullest extent. Yea sometimes I memorize stuff for school and regurgitate it but it's all methodical. And I read the news everyday but I can tell you about random, almost common sense stuff instead of political and ideological theories we were taught to express in high school. I yearn to be that funny, witty, interesting, spontaneous character at dinners, parties, and hangouts who can carry a lively conversation about essentially anything. As of right now, I view myself as just an empty facade of dullness sprinkled with some shallow attractiveness, if that. Am I trying to put myself at a higher pedestal? Isn't it beneficial that I want to improve myself? I feel like I can be this sponge or more so clay, ever-evolving over time with the need for new information. But I can see how this can also lead to unhappiness due to unfulfillment.
Have you ever tried to have a conversation with someone you've just met (because you're at a function and can tell that you don't have much in common with most of the people around you), and both parties are awkwardly quiet? What do you talk about? I usually start off talking about the weather.... Then try to be ecstatic about a tv show (The Walking Dead, Game of Thrones, Bones, Breaking Bad). Can you tell I tend to get along better with guys? Girls are sometimes really hard to connect with, though we connect very well when there is alcohol and wingwoman-ing and talking about relationships.. *sigh* I think I'm just really bad at conversations sometimes, or sometimes I just don't care to keep it alive.. But, I'm a really good listener :)
and I'm also a bit shy and tend to mildly stutter.
You might wonder what took me so long to become self-aware. Let's just say that I am quite simple and easily satisfied, though with always a dream and goal set in mind. I am not very observant, which I am trying to change, and I try not to be judgmental at all. I just want to be a vagabond free-spirit. And the only way to nurture yourself and grow with time is to challenge yourself and step out of your comfort zones.
But being sick sucks! I was super motivated this week due to my meditation of oneself and being more aware of self-improvement. Although I have not been able to 100% focus on myself in the physical aspects, I have started to read Paulo Coelho's The Alchemist. (I'm trying to improve myself physically, mentally, and spiritually). The past week I have realized that I haven't been using my brain to the fullest extent. Yea sometimes I memorize stuff for school and regurgitate it but it's all methodical. And I read the news everyday but I can tell you about random, almost common sense stuff instead of political and ideological theories we were taught to express in high school. I yearn to be that funny, witty, interesting, spontaneous character at dinners, parties, and hangouts who can carry a lively conversation about essentially anything. As of right now, I view myself as just an empty facade of dullness sprinkled with some shallow attractiveness, if that. Am I trying to put myself at a higher pedestal? Isn't it beneficial that I want to improve myself? I feel like I can be this sponge or more so clay, ever-evolving over time with the need for new information. But I can see how this can also lead to unhappiness due to unfulfillment.
Have you ever tried to have a conversation with someone you've just met (because you're at a function and can tell that you don't have much in common with most of the people around you), and both parties are awkwardly quiet? What do you talk about? I usually start off talking about the weather.... Then try to be ecstatic about a tv show (The Walking Dead, Game of Thrones, Bones, Breaking Bad). Can you tell I tend to get along better with guys? Girls are sometimes really hard to connect with, though we connect very well when there is alcohol and wingwoman-ing and talking about relationships.. *sigh* I think I'm just really bad at conversations sometimes, or sometimes I just don't care to keep it alive.. But, I'm a really good listener :)
and I'm also a bit shy and tend to mildly stutter.
You might wonder what took me so long to become self-aware. Let's just say that I am quite simple and easily satisfied, though with always a dream and goal set in mind. I am not very observant, which I am trying to change, and I try not to be judgmental at all. I just want to be a vagabond free-spirit. And the only way to nurture yourself and grow with time is to challenge yourself and step out of your comfort zones.
Great minds discuss ideas
Average minds discuss events
Small minds discuss people
Eleanor Roosevelt
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